Beyond romance: other kinds of love have a role to play
Love comes in many forms. Friends, family, work, community, and yourself deserve attention too
As Valentine’s Day approaches, everywhere from shops to social media feeds has been full of romance. But if you aren’t in a fully formed romantic relationship, or maybe don’t even have the sight of romance on the horizon, Valentine’s Day can feel like a nightmare rather than the stuff of dreams.
Time to reframe. There’s more than one way to find love — friends, family, yourself, and your communities matter too.
Here’s why those four types of relationships can bring you benefits, on Valentine’s Day and year-round.
Friends
Friends often hold your life together when work or romantic relationships shift and offer a perspective that’s hard to get elsewhere. They often know your history, your patterns, and your sense of humour. They remember who you were before your current job, relationship, or life phase.
Friendship is also practical. A friend might help you move, pick up groceries when you’re sick, or just sit with you while you vent. These moments aren’t dramatic, but they’re reliable.
Chosen family plays the same role. These are relationships built on trust and shared responsibility rather than obligation. They often exist because people have decided, deliberately, to rely on each other.
Nurture your friendships by checking in regularly, even when life gets busy. Planning a coffee, sending a quick message and remembering birthdays or milestones are all great ways to be a good friend.
Family
Family relationships tend to provide long-term stability. They’re the people who show up repeatedly, even when nothing exciting is happening.
It can be easy to take family relationships for granted, so make sure you show your gratitude and spend time having fun as well as just doing all those everyday things.
Work and community
You spend lots of time with the people you work with, especially if you work on-site each day. Some co-workers you might get really close to, maybe even developing a friendship outside of the office.
Even colleagues you aren’t super close to can still provide support, whether it’s for a specific work task or more generally.
In your community, developing relationships with your neighbours can help you feel safer and contribute to a better atmosphere. Neighbours can also provide practical support, even if it’s as simple as putting your bins away or keeping an eye on your house if you are on holiday.
Yourself
Loving yourself is important. If all else falls away, you can rely on yourself.
Self-care, like good sleep, setting boundaries, and sticking to basic routines, makes you more patient, clearer in your thinking, and less reactive.
And when you feel good about yourself, you have more to give to other people.
Romantic love is often intense and visible. The other kinds are quieter, but they’re still important.
Having a mix of relationships offers you stability and more sources of support, which means when one wanes, another can step up to take the load.
You don’t need to reject Valentine’s Day. Just notice the other forms of love around you. Friends who check in, family and communities who support you and routines that keep you healthy.